In Orthodox Dating Scene, Matchmakers Go Digital

The words I am single and I need your help , bolded and italicized just so, jumped out at me from the bottom of the e-mail. As the editor of The Beacon , an online newspaper for Orthodox Jewish college students, I had received several submissions like this before, and I braced myself for yet another lament on dating. But as I continued to read through the article, I saw that it actually discussed a very relevant issue that has confronted many in my community. The article detailed a young woman’s experience dating in the Modern Orthodox world and her struggle juggling both the pressure to get married and her desire to succeed in school. She wrote, “Whether or not you agree with system, the system remains the same. Last summer, I experienced this pressure first-hand. A prominent rabbi argued to me that too few students were getting married in college. When I explained that many of us believe in first completing school or starting a career before making the supreme commitment, his response was a cool, “Why?

Singles furious after matchmaking site for Orthodox Jews makes profiles public

Yocheved Lerner-Miller pairs up misfits — the divorced, the middle-aged, the newly religious — in the Lubavitch Jewish community in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Andre D. Wagner for The New York Times.

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A week and a half ago, Josephine Stockwell had her first date with Nathan, a guy she had been texting for some time. The two really hit it off. They both speak Spanish, love romantic comedies and relate to Judaism in similar ways. They wound up talking for two and a half hours. As social distancing has become the norm during the pandemic, meeting a stranger for dinner and drinks seems like a distant memory.

Orthodox rules of Jewish sexuality, modesty, and making a mitzvah out of She hopes this article makes her mother happy, since her dating.

Sometimes, when we have to rebuild in life, what we create is better than what was originally there. This might be the case when, after the coronavirus pandemic is over, we look back at dating, especially in the Jewish world. Micki Lavin-Pell, a marriage therapist and relationship coach in Jerusalem, and her colleague, Dr.

The study , in its early stages and aimed at people of all religions and sexual orientations under age 45, asks them to answer approximately 20 questions online, including queries on their dating practices before the pandemic, and their experiences with virtual dating. Lavin-Pell has noticed that the difference between enjoying and not enjoying virtual dating might have more to do with how imaginative people are.

Singles, she says, have to generate new ways of making dates engaging, like doing puzzles or cooking together online as opposed to relying on external aids. While she acknowledges that virtual dating might be more challenging for older daters, she believes that dating, in general, is universally difficult once you are on your own.

Daniella Rudoff, a marriage educator and CEO of the Israel-based Marriage Architect, says she sprang into action once the coronavirus hit. The social distancing rules have served as a kind of equalizer for Jews of all branches when it comes to dating in the time of a pandemic. In the Orthodox world, matchmaking, or shidduchim , has always been the norm, as is a prohibition on physical contact between non-related members of the opposite sex.

Now, even secular Jews are increasingly seeing matchmakers and are unable to touch. This is apparent with F. He asked not to be identified for privacy reasons. Still, he has observed some positive changes, like people being more open to expanding their marriage search outside their area of residence.

Sex and Modern Orthodox Singles: Between Halakha and Reality

Brooke, 30, an Orthodox woman divorced for six years, wants a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage, but that is proving to be a challenge. Some even create fake profiles. In , being Orthodox no longer offers the security of ongoing community support, and for single millennials, finding a partner is a solitary pursuit. While Jewish communities still value marriage and family above all, the burden of coupling falls on the singles.

Yossi, 32, and Shira Teichman, 31, a married Orthodox couple from Los Angeles have drawn on their life experiences to create a technological solution to this dilemma.

site features a wealth of information about events for Jewish singles in the greater New York area. – This shidduch/dating service for Orthodox.

Now, in the middle of a milieu of anxieties about assimilation, continuity, and online dating, young Jews no longer have such a clear guide to finding love. For many millennial Jews, though, parental pressure still looms large over their romantic lives. Claire Siege, a sophomore at Wellesley College, grew up hearing these messages. The idea that serious relationships are easier to form with Jewish people does carry a grain of truth for Siege.

As someone who spends much of her time engaged in the Jewish community, she can find it difficult to connect to people who have no knowledge of how she spends her days. She feels that much of her time on dating apps like Tinder is spent just trying to educate people on who she is.

Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?

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Yocheved Lerner-Miller is a matchmaker for Orthodox Jews who I deal with older singles who are already in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

It is not possible to send messages to the Rabbis through replies system. Click here to send your question to rabbi. Saturday 2 Elul Elul on the site. Sign in Register. Dear Rabbi, 2 months ago I met the most kind, intelligent and beautiful women I have ever met in my life.

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We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. I thought parental disapproval of marriage was a problem of the past. I was wrong.

In the Orthodox Jewish community, intense marriage pressure is a driving force for women to take dieting too far.

For many Orthodox converts going through the conversion process, the mikveh is the light at the end of a long tunnel. What this means in practice is that men and, more often, women the majority of converts are female wait months and sometimes years to enter the dating world as halachic Jews. When the process is finally complete, many converts describe feeling more anxious than excited about the prospect of dating.

Everyone has heard and many have experienced their fair share of dating horror stories. But there is more to it — and seemingly more at stake — for converts. The Jewish community has long struggled with accepting and successfully absorbing newcomers, but one segment of the community appears to be failing more acutely, and more consequentially: the matchmakers. Over the years, I have spoken with dozens of converts, and almost all described the distinct feeling of being a second-class citizen in the dating world.

Many attributed their difficulties to complicating factors that would make dating difficult for anyone, Orthodox or not. Women were told to lose weight; single mothers and divorcees were told they were less marriageable. It was very discouraging.

‘I’m not going to marry a non-Jewish woman’ #lovelinks